Tour de France - Live Update Humor

From Velonews, Stage 15 TDF 2008, 7/22/2008:

03:49 PM: Reader question, speaking of *&(#!
Reader Sean in Denver writes in to ask:
Hey LUG,
You've talked a lot about nature breaks and the courtesy of waiting for the yellow jersey. But I'm assuming all of this has to do with a number 1. What happens if a rider has to do a #2. Do they find the nearest bush or do the support cars carry TP?
Well Sean,
Now there's an unusual question. Generally riders don't find themselves in that position. A light breakfast and a morning constitutional generally allow riders to avoid that problem. Nonetheless, it does happen. Most often, when we hear about it, it involves a rider suffering from stomach problems. Most recently, Ivan Basso lost 48 minutes in a stage that went up the Stelvio. He had to stop three times on the way up that climb after suffering from what was some form of food poisoning. He was afforded a degree of privacy by a team car that would stop and block the view of the tifosi along the course.
One of our favorite stories from the old days on that topic involved Tom Simpson, as told by one of his domestiques on the old Peugeot team. Riding in his first Tour, the young rider was resplendent in his team kit, with his while cap perched perfectly atop his head. Suddenly his team leader dropped back and demanded his hat.

"You got your own hat!" the rider exclaimed.

"I know, I know," said Simpson. "but, I need to take a @$%^ and need something to wipe my &$$."

Ahhh, the life of a domestique.